the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
