Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You smell like stripper and shame
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize