4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
