she woke up with a sticky ear
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
FUCK WHALES
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
