there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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