After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
