Your mouth is God's brothel.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
