you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What a dumb baby whore.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
