I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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