he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
