A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
