Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
