Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
