His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
