i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
