She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
