there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
