I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Text me some of your sweat
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