hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
