I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
