i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
