He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
