So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
