If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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