I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
