We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
a search helicopter?!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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