Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
