The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Who died my cat blue again?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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