I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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