He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize