Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Houston, we have a squirter
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
