Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
