On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
