There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So apparently I’m into choking now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
