Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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