I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
