you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need to align my fucking chakras
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
