I am in a vortex of obligation.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
