only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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