this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
