He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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