Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
