I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
