if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
