just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
