if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
