so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
