How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
