To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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