Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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