plz talk dirty to me
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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