It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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