North Korea, Best Korea!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
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