I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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