i permit you to call me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
