We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's the barista slut.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize