I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
