i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
