WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize