What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize