he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
