i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You're like the curious george of whores
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
