This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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